


1-800-ANGEL

by jsymo



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awkward Sexual Situations, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Multi, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-29
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 07:21:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2379746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jsymo/pseuds/jsymo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam gets Dean to attempt phone sex with Cas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1-800-ANGEL

Sam snickered into his cupped palm while Dean shushed him between his chuckles.

Dean flipped open his phone, hit the speed dial button and turned his cell on speaker.

“Can it! It’s ringing!”

Sam put down the beer he had been holding and made a show of firmly placing both of his hands over his mouth.

After a few rings there was an answer.

“Hello Dean.”

Dean’s lips twitched as he composed himself and worked to reign in his chuckles.

“Cas?”

“Yes Dean, what is it you require?”

Dean shot an amused grin to Sam who was now leaning forward and biting the knuckle of his index finger.

“What are you wearing?” Dean’s voice dropped down into his ‘come-fuck-me’ range.

“Uhm – I – I don’t understand the nature of your inquiry. Is this for a case?”

Dean could practically see the scrunched brow breaking out on Jimmy Novak’s face.

“Damn it Cas! Just answer the question!”

“A black suit, with a blue tie, white under shirt, and a tan overcoat.”

“What else?”

“Well, there are my shoes…”

“Any underwear?”

“I – I’m sorry, under what?”

Dean sighed and Sam stifled a giggle.

“Not like a – damnit Cas! I mean what are you wearing under your dress pants?”

“Oh,” there was a pause from the angel; he was likely looking into Dean’s question. “A pair of shorts.”

“Don’t you want to know what I’m wearing?”

“I – I don’t, uhm, what? – what are you wearing Dean?”

“Good boy,” Dean said leaning back onto the bed and kicking off his shoes. “Well, I’ve got my amulet on and…nothing else.” Dean lied.

“Oh, um, well I should let you go since you’re obviously busy.”

“Where would the fun be in that Cas?”

“Fun?”

“Yeah Cas, you ever hear of phone sex?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Phone sex.”

“I don’t understand. How can phones have sex with one another?”

“No the --,” Dean broke off and shot a frustrated scowl in Sam’s direction.

“The phones aren’t the ones having sex, feather brains, _we_ are!”

“Dean, I’m not sure I understand you. How are we supposed to have intercourse through the phone?”

“Like this.” Dean said simply. “We tell each other what we’re wearing; say what we’d do to each other and we get off.”

“Get off?”

“Jack off?

“What?”

“We masturbate damnit!” Dean yelled into the phone and he had to press the receiver into his chest as he sighed loudly and rubbed at his temples. “Not sure I can do this Sam.”

“You’re doing great,” Sam tried to reassure him through his shit eating grin.

Dean shot an unamused frown his direction.

“Well, hey,” Sam gestured toward his older brother, “you’re still dressed, take off your pants. Really get into it.”

Dean shook his head but stood up and unbuttoned his jeans as he pulled the phone away from his chest.

“Cas, you still there?”

“Yes Dean.”

“Good.”

Dean stuck the phone between his teeth and shucked his pants, taking his boxers off with them and he whipped his shirt over his head and chucked it at Sam’s face. 

“Alright, I’m tired of playing around,” Dean lay back on the bed and licked his hand, palming himself as he got right to business. “You alone at the moment?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“There a bed or something you can lay on?”

“I have a chair?”

“Good, take a seat.”

“Alright.”

“You sitting down?”

“Yes.”

“You want to know what I’m doing right now?”

A sigh. “What are you doing Dean?”

“I’m touching myself.”

…

“Want to know where?”

“Where are you touching yourself Dean?”

“My dick. It’s hard.” Well, not quite yet, he was getting there though. “You touching yourself Cas?”

“No Dean. Should I?”

“Oh hell yeah.”

…

“You touching yourself now?”

“Yes Dean.”

“You hard?”

“Well, I have bones; they have a certain density to them that makes me solid. Is that what you mean?”

Dean tried to avoid rolling his eyes so hard that he sprained something and instead went with whatever it was that Cas gave him to work with.

“Oh you have a bone eh?”

“Well, not just the one, I have multiple.”

“I’m only interested in one of your bones Cas.”

“Why? Do you require it for a spell?”

Dean gave up. He couldn’t possibly do this. He was half hard only from the friction of his own palm and because Sam was staring at his naked body while completely clothed.

“You know what Cas? Nevermind.”

Dean closed his phone and tossed it across the room. 

“So you couldn’t do it huh?”

“Shut up Sam.”

“Mr. ‘I-can-have-sex-of-any-kind-with-any-person’ can’t get off on phone sex with an Angel. How does that feel Dean?”

“You know what? That’s the exact same reason why I don’t do prude chicks, I don’t want to teach. I want to _do_!”

“Speaking of do,” Sam said standing up and walking over to the bed Dean was on. “How about you give me a lesson in taking care of that?”

Sam kneeled on the bed and licked up the length of Dean’s dick.

“Now that I can do.”


End file.
